It all started this past January when I began to work for a very affluent, Christian family. With it being a family owned business and less than 10 people in the office, you start to get to know people. While chatting with the bosses, I would hear stories of vacations they had taken, places they shop for furniture, where they like to go out to eat. You know, things like “Oh this weekend we went to SO & SO’s downtown for dinner.”
Throughout these conversations I noticed something. The vacations they described, the places they bought furniture from, and the restaurants where they regularly go out to eat were all quite expensive. At first, I thought nothing about it. This is America after all, and they are successful business owners and they are paying for ALL of my health insurance.
So who am I to judge? They made the money, so they can spend it however they like.
Then something wonderful happened! Our friends, whom had been looking to purchase their first home, told us they had met with a builder and were planning on building their first home! How wonderful! What an amazing opportunity.
Via group text, the wife began to send us picture after picture of the show home that they were modeling their house after.
A kitchen so big you could fit a small culinary staff in there
An open floor plan, the type you see on HGTV dream homes where people are sitting, laughing and drinking Pinot
A master bathroom so big that you could do a cartwheel in it….
As the pictures of hardwood floors and granite counter tops continued to roll in, something peculiar happened. I looked around at my laminate kitchen countertops and the wall separating it from the living space, and I began to feel embarrassed.
Don’t get me wrong. Harry and I knew we were purchasing a fixer upper, but our house definitely hadn’t progressed as fast as I thought it would. And no amount of renovations would make it like our friends’ swanky new place on the upper middle class side of town.
In addition, we love our neighborhood but it’s very diverse racially and socio-economically. If you drove through the neighborhood and had to make a passing judgement you would probably call it lower middle class, if that helps give you a clear picture.
Of course I began to feel guilty, for feeling embarrassed. Embarrassed at my house and the neighborhood that I truly do love. I shook it all off and made a point to simply be happy for our friends.
The next day at work, my boss handed me his expense report to be processed. It was a regular task I was used to handling, and I began to sort out the numbers. As the numbers added up I realized something, the amount of money they spent on eating out alone would have covered the cost of my mortgage... twice. Once again I tried to shake the feeling off but this time that little twinge stuck with me.
I’ve never been the type to want expensive or lavish things. Dont get me wrong - you will find me lustfully, wandering through Anthropologie with the best of them, but I’ve never dreamt of driving a Mercedes either. I’m not sharing this to toot my own horn, but rather explain to you my surprise at what I was experiencing.
And what I was experiencing was jealousy, plain and simple. This was more than the normal “Oh wouldn’t it be nice one day…” kind of feeling. I thought to myself, I too would love to take luxurious caribbean vacations with magical moonlit catamaran rides. I too would like to go out to eat at expensive steak dinners whenever the hell I want. I work hard… really hard, like really, really hard. Why shouldn’t I have the same opportunities to have that kind of living?
This was a new feeling. Let me explain….
I cried when I bought my first car because I thought having such a semi- permanent tie would hinder me from going to Africa if God called tomorrow. No...I’m not kidding.
My naivety aside, for the most part, I’m still that girl that wouldn’t be surprised if God tells us to sell all we have and move across the world tomorrow.
So why now was I eye-balling the over-sized McMansions on my way home?
“Because you’re growing up.”
Those are the words that my dear dear friend/mentor responded to me with when I poured out my heart. Maybe it was my pride, but part of me didn’t like the idea. As we continued to hash out the topic, we found ourselves asking the question:
At what point does spending money on nice things become sin?
Don’t close the browser, hang in there with me. I’m not done with my story yet.
My dear friend/mentor had recently moved into a larger house, in a nicer neighborhood, with her family, so it was an interesting conversation for us.
At what point are you enjoying the gifts God gave you and what point is it greed?
Well, compared to a majority of the population in Ethiopia, the bacon and eggs Harry and I had for dinner is considered extravagant. And compared to those living in Haiti, my little 1300 square foot home might as well be the White House.
But wait...why am I comparing my style of living to that of the typical Ethiopian? Of course my life is considered extravagant compared to theirs! I live in the richest country on earth and they live in one of the poorest. I realized that I was making these gross comparisons in an attempt to give myself a hall pass from evaluating how I spend my resources.
Ok, so at what point, in the context of the typical American lifestyle, does the spending of my resources become sin?
Sure, my boss was spending more on eating out then I do on my mortgage. But Harry and I probably spend more on eating out than most of our neighbors… so where does that leave us? I don’t think God is anti-vacations and or even having nice things. I’m definitely not for a “prosperity gospel” but I also DON’T believe in a poverty gospel.
The tension I felt wouldn’t let me just drop it.
Finally I came to this poignant question,
Have I surrendered my resources to God?
Notice I didn’t ask:
do I tithe regularly?
or do I give when there is an ask for an extra offering?
Do I view ALL my resources as my own or as God’s? My automatic answer is, “of course”. But then I look at my life and begin to question my answer.
Do we ask God before we decide what side of town to live on? Or do we automatically pick the affluent one with the good schools? Because obviously Jesus wants our kids to go to school with other affluent kids.
On a practical level, what am I doing to love on the “least of these”? I don’t know many orphans and widows, but I know a lot of single, working moms who could use some help every now and again.
Why is it that I don’t feel called to get up early on Sunday mornings so I can volunteer at church but I will gladly get up early to stop by starbucks on my way into work?
Do I practice hospitality or is the guest bedroom empty aside from the holidays?
As Americans, we are a blessed people. But why do we assume every time that we should bless ourselves via the resources that God blessed us with?
Don’t tell me “Oh God blessed me with this 3200 sq. foot house in a gated community”. No, God blessed you with the resources and you blessed yourself with the house. Which is fine, nothing wrong with that, but what was the heart behind it?
I know not everyone is called to move to Mexico and start an orphanage. Few are called to live that lifestyle. We hear that often.
But not everyone is called to live in an upper middle class neighborhood and spend all their resources on themselves. Fewer are actually called to live that lifestyle, yet many Christians live it anyways.
Not every time, but most of the time Jesus called people to downward mobility.
I know some of those who are called to the upper middle class. And trust me, like being called to an orphanage, when you're called there and serving well, it's anything but comfortable.
So you feel called to the live on the rich, white side of town? Great! Good for you! How many of your neighbors do you know by name? Have you invited any of them over for dinner? I think it’s great that you feel called to that side of town. But are you hiding inside of your house now that you’re there? Keeping your lawn mowed should not be the only way you show love to your neighbors.
So lets start this journey by taking a minute and asking ourselves a few questions:
Have I surrendered my resources or am I constantly blessing myself with my resources?
Like I mentioned before, God is not anti-vacations or anti-granite counter tops. (Praise Him.) But does my heart desire those things more than it does mercy and justice?
